The Olympic Runner

My lungs were burning
as if on fire
With every step i took
my heart pumped harder
my breath grew more desperate
my legs turned jellylike

"Can't give up
Won't give up
Can't give up"

I chanted silently
in my head
willing my legs
to be that of a robot
willing my breath to slow down
willing my heart to magically enlarge
willing my lungs to cool down
as i tackled the course

A few runners ran past me
Huffing and puffing
i ran harder
Not wanting to be left in the dust
Not wanting to be outrun by them
Not wanting to lose

I thought of the past few months of daily training
I thought of all the hopes pinned on me
I thought of my countrymen
I thought of my coach
I thought of my family
I thought of my Olympic medal dreams

"No i can't lose just like that"
I reminded myself

Pushing on
I ran harder
trying to overtake the other runners

But they were fast
Really fast
Faster than me

"400m more to the finishing line
Go Go Go"
I screamed at myself
mentally
I was losing
I knew it in my heart
yet i did not give up

No matter how hard i pumped my legs
i just could not overtake the other runners

Alas the top three runners dashed past the finishing line
It was over before i knew it
And i finished fifth

I was crushed
My dreams dashed

I had not qualified for a medal
I had not qualified for a medal
I had not qualified for a medal

I knew i had tried my best
but
the fact that my best was not good enough
was horrible

I could not accept it
Placing my palms over my face
i dashed to the toilet
where i cried my heart out in private
vowing to do better in my next Olympic race